5 Ways Deez Jugs Made Lemonade

5 "Jugs of Lemonades" from My Lemon of a Breast Reduction

For the last four months, I have been battling surgical complications from having a breast

reduction. My emotions have been aplenty! They have ranged all across the

Feelings Wheel. Most recently, I have expressed my annoyances were supplanted

with anger. Sitting with my feelings, I realize I can extract sweetness from the ongoing

scenario. As the winter turns to spring and summer becomes ushers another surgery,

that sweetness is just what is needed to balance out the tartness. As temperatures

rise while we discuss, we'll welcome a cold glass of lemonade created by the sweet moments

mined from these lots of loathsome and lousy lemons! We can be angry, but we will not be bitter! ✊

1) Taking my dog to potty, which is a big deal; we go, often. I leave my

front door to "simply" (pfffft) take my dog down the elevators of a busy

high rise and through the lobby - hoping there aren't a bunch of people

and animals but often there are - positioned at a busy intersection and

make our way to one of her favorite spots to go potty: I never wear a bra,

anymore! I shout from the rooftop! I never wear a bra!!!!!

Do you have any idea how liberating it is to go braless, just like it is the

most normal thing in the

world??!! Holy fuck! You'd

think this would be the

end, the happy end, of it. If

only that were the case... it

turns out going braless -

set them free, set them

free - is not the only litmus for success in this situation. Who knew??!!

(Seriously, few people are out here broadcasting about when things go

awry. As it turns out, sometimes...

happy endings require far

more sacrifices than one

initially allots for

getting a nice set of tatas

then on with their life, ffs.)

Some dreams die hard, Kid. Back to the list...

2) Safety nets always reassure us! My employer says I can get back to doing my thing

when I'm ready, just focus on healing, and let them know if I need anything. It

feels good that the integrity of my professionalism and work I have produced since their

beginning keeps me viable. I've been practicing that craft for over a decade, and I work

for some bomb ass people. Meanwhile, I can discover new ways to exchange my

thoughts for things as I broaden my range of possibilities. The Universe will give us a push

when we are scared but we need it because it is time to grow.

3) My percentages for classes for my Bachelor of Fine Arts program are

back up to where I want them to be. This is directly related to their being

more time for me to focus. And I need it! You see, these arbitrary

constructs, like time, won't matter in a few years but, right now, they

could be helpful to get scholarship money, and that's what I need a zillion

times over. Looking at you, MFA program. And, hell, finishing my BFA,

which includes my internship at a publishing company! Never bored!

4) I spent the entire winter, from Christmas Eve on, back home on the

farm with my mom and stepdad, which far surpasses any amount of time

I have stayed in the decades I've

been gone. My mother carefully

and painstakingly nursed my

wounds, fixed meals and made

me laugh when I wanted to cry

or scream. In short, I'm closer

with my family; she is everything. even though we

don't always see eye to eye. She is a marvel;

I am grateful to have the gift of sharing time.

5) Time to ground, meditate, visualize, manifest... and put in the work to

cultivate the skills I need to make my dreams for the next part of my life a

reality! I am forced to come up with new ways to better align myself with

my vision. And this has to address the shadows, too; when I feel my

mental healing waning and my amygdala straining to keep me safe (even

though I'm not in danger, hello trauma brain) over to the realm of

questionable activity - like self-sabotage - it is my responsibility to

acknowledge it and do something about it. And be kind to myself even

after I'm awkward. I've been through A LOT! So, I'm a little weird,

sometimes. Who isn't??! I just need to be focused on progress, not

perfection! The rest will come. That goes for EVERYONE! All tasks feel

lighter when we embrace perspective, and it is time to raise the vibrations!

These do not mean I am not still gravely disappointed in how my breast

reduction experience, but these ARE some super solid takeaways -

comforting and beautiful! I love every one of them and am thankful I can

easily (well, I've had good stretch of time to think about it) pinpoint

aspects that, although they do not take away the frustration

and pain, I can, in fact, let them soothe some of the sting.

Where do you find your silver linings??!!